Lectures and Talks

“What is the best way for optimal growth? How does one develop in the most complete and wholesome way? I always thought that one needs comfortable and good environmental conditions, the ability to do everything, and minimal disturbances, obstacles and hardships”. This is how Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen thought, and how she raised her children and cultivated her grandchildren.

It ends up that it is not true. Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen shares with us the huge cracks that appeared in her life because of a giant aneurysm in her brain, a stroke, loss of speech, epilepsy, and recently, a brain tumor. Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen describes how she did not let the gapping open cracks break her. On the contrary: “Every crack was an opportunity for a new light, for observing the world, and myself, from a different angle. Every fracture created an unknown and challenging space to move into, which enabled me to discover inside me abilities which I did not know existed”.

Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen shows that it was the hardships, the challenges, the troubles, the lack and want, and the frustrations – which enabled her to grow to become a better, and worthier person. “Everyone can take the darker part of his or her life and turn it into a source of light. I do believe that everyone has the inner strengths in order to reach it”, summarizes Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen the gift of life, which is found within each and every one of us.

“It is easy to see G-d in all the good that becomes us, but when everything around us is falling apart, when all the dreams are shattered, when the body is torn from within from pain – where is G-d then?” This is how Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen opens her talk, where she describes the conversations that she developed with G-d when she was told that her death was a matter of hours. Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen sacrificed a quarter of her brain in order to live, and G-d provided her with a miracle, and the scope of the disabilities was, Thank G-d, lower than expected. For a while G-d seemed closer than usual. But  how does one ‘s life feel like with a miracle on his or her shoulder while having no wings?

Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen tried to carry on her life, in all its fields, as she did before the surgery, so as to maintain her “self” definition. A brain stroke caused the loss of speech, and her whole professional world collapsed. “Surprisingly, I found out that G-d is especially close to me when ‘everything worked against me’. From the belief in G-d’s goodness, I learnt to see the opportunity for growth stemming from the hardships that G-d has landed on me. The miracles transformed, from being a heavy burden to a signal showing the way. The medical challenges become giant growth engines”. This is how Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen summarizes her deep belief that the sense of ‘G-d’s proximity/closeness is good for me’, a feeling which has grown within her.

In her talk, Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen shares the way by which the belief and trust in G-d enabled her not only to overcome the obstacles, but also provided her with practical tools to build her life anew – better and no less meaningful.

No one told Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen that she will be paralyzed in half her body after operating on her head and taking out the tumor which was becoming dangerous. After months of rehabilitation, she was told that she will remain in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. “I also had very serious cognitive damages, and there were areas in which my ability was parallel to the one of a four-year-old.”, describes Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen one of the hardest moments of her life.

To break down was not an option, and Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen started on a long and grueling journey to teach her leg to walk, her brain to remember and think, and her soul to be happy and cheer others up. Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen carried, with her belief in the inner strengths within every person, many other people in  her rehab ward. They all set goals and moved towards them, slowly, with great effort, but in a very fulfilling sense of growth.

After a year, Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen walked in the Alps, and went back to giving regular classes. The tools for growth, out of the fracture stemmed from a complex yet unbelievable life story. “You have to tell the story. You have to give strength to more people. You have so much to give. You can change the lives of many people.”, this is what they told Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen, people in rehab, those accompanying them, and the professional rehab teams. So, this is what she does – a living proof that there is nothing that stands in the way of willpower.

When Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen was in Head Injury Rehab, she thought that her goal was to be rehabilitated. She did not know that her life was going to totally change, and that she will never get back to be the same person she was before. She certainly did not consider her situation a gift.

The conclusion of Dr Tamar Jehuda Cohen’s personal rehabilitation process did not end her relationship with the rehab center, on the contrary. People would call her and say: “I heard that you were told that you will never walk, and yet you are walking. Will you please come and visit my brother/father/son who was told the same and is very depressed?” Every phone call led to a visit, by Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen, with the patient and his/her caring team. Some of the visits led to rehab support by Tamar for many months, or years.

“I was there, paralyzed and damaged”, explains Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen, “it is totally different from any theoretical studies about what a person goes through when his/her life is destroyed as far he/she is concerned”. Each person has his/her story. None chose the tragedy or crisis which came upon him/her, but we all have a choice as to what we do with the existing situation.

The coping tools for the person in rehab, and the tips to those that support the process, were constructed from personal self-empowerment and meetings with people coping with different life changing events. “Today I also accompany people with war post trauma, and terminally ill patients and their families”, shares Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen, “they all have to walk the path from an uninvited crisis to a meaningful and constructive change”.

Dr. Tamar Jehuda Cohen’s third book, “A black Hole or a Miracle?”, is a collection of short stories about people coping with great challenges. From each story one can glean awareness and understandings about how to turn the complex rehab process into an opportunity for personal growth.